


Serenity Needs a Cook

by orphan_account



Series: Serenity Needs a Cook [1]
Category: Firefly
Genre: Humor, Multi, Serenity - Freeform, admittedly this story does contain an orginal character, but - Freeform, cook - Freeform, cook fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2012-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-23 01:24:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/616521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Serenity picks up a passenger but, she has more than a few skeletons in the closest. takes place before 'Our Ms. Reynolds'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> MAL  
> I tell ya, Zoe, we find ourselves a mechanic, get her  
> running again. Hire a good pilot. Maybe even a cook.  
> Live like real people.  
> -Out of Gas

"I rightfully stole that! Now give it up!" Jayne demanded as River danced around the kitchen holding a shiny piece of metal.

"You stole it. Your basis of ownership is not significant enough to provoke me to return it," the girl said absently, gazing at her prize through large wide eyes.

"Gorram it! Doctor, if your sister don't give me my watch back, I am going to have to resort to my own methods," Jayne threatened, glaring at the smaller man. Simon looked confused as he took what River had been holding.

"A watch? You stole a watch? you have no recognizable schedule. Why would you need to know the time?" Simon asked, as River quickly plucked it from her brother's fingers.

"Its not for telling time; its one of them non-digital antique kind. And it happens that watch you're holdin' is gold, pure and all," Jayne said with a satisfied smirk.

"Not, its not. It fake. It is simply a metal alloy with a kind of gold veneer. It seems to contain pieces of pyrite and small bits of clay. You can tell by the weight. And the clock is 5.872 seconds slow. This is useless," River announced, placing the old fashioned device on the table. Jayne quickly snatched it back.

"No, it ain't. its as real as the entire verse. The man I nicked from, he was telling everyone it was made of- Look! As long as someone thinks it real, it is," Jayne said, slamming his fist on the table. A small crunch was heard by all the occupants. River let out a small giggle and Simon struggle to hide the smile that graced his features. Jayne growled."It ain't funny."

Kaylee entered the kitchen, grabbed a plastic wrapped nutrient pack and hopped up onto the counter to eat it. Grease covered her jumpsuit and smudged her pretty face, as she pushed her hair behind her ear.

"What happened to you? The engine spit up on ya?" Jayne asked.

"Well actually, the fuel module was-"

"Not interested," Jayne replied, moving past her.

"Shouldn't have Zoe and Mal been back by now? I thought it was to be an easy job," Kaylee asked.

"they're only...one ...three...two? no- five minutes late," Jayne said squinting at "his" new watch.

"They are 4.90213 minutes late," River said. "Slow watch."

"I wouldn't worry. They're probably fine," Simon said to Kaylee, giving her a smile which was reciprocated. Jayne rolled his eyes.

"You're probably right. Its probably going as smooth as butte,." the optimistic mechanic caroled.

Firefly***Firefly***Firefly***Firefly***Firefly***Firefly***Firefly***Firefly***Firefly***

"Why can't these things ever go smooth?" Mal said as the room began to fill with armed men.

"Don't know, sir. Seems we always find trouble."

"Tsao gao! We better get going," Mal said, grabbing the sleek silver case they had come for from the safe they had just broken.

"Alright, sir," Zoe said, firing warning shots towards the incoming men, warning shots that were directed at their legs. With quick motions Mal tossed a chair at the men, distracting them a little before he and Zoe turned tail into the dusty glaring sunlight. Dodging through the throngs of people, they found themselves in the busy market place. The pair tried to make it through without drawing to much gorram attention to themselves. Mal and Zoe turned down an alley and waited in the shade of the building for the men to pass before taking off again. They were both breathing laboriously.

"Zoe, you got it?"

"Of course, sir," she said motioning to the case.

"Thank Gorram! Now all we got to do is-" Mal said before he ran directly into something. It was a woman. Mal's chin collided with her forehead with a loud smack. Mal fell over, tripping Zoe up.

"Ye soo! Watch where you're going, you Wang bao dahn!" the woman shouted hastily before grabbing her own silver case and running out of the alley. Zoe rolled her eyes at Mal as he lay on the ground.

"Did she just call me a Wang bao dahn?" Mal asked indignantly, dusting off his brown coat and picking up their case.

"You did run her over, sir," Zoe stated staring at her captain with an expression of faint amusement. Mal glared at her.

"Thief! Robber!"

Instinctively Mal and Zoe quickly took off. They ran back into the open street, hoping to lose their pursuers in the crowd. Within minutes, they made it to the port where Serenity was stationed. Climbing up the ramp, Mal happily realized that they had lost their pursuers and he was back on his beloved boat. Thank gorram.

"What took y'all so long?" Jayne asked, tossing a shiny bracelet sort of a thing into the masses of people. A few passersby yelped as the object sailed through the air, making Jayne grin.

"We got chased. No problems though; We got the goods," Mal said, lifting up the silver case.

"Hey, you!" someone called from the street. Zoe, Mal and Jayne turned to see a woman standing, arms crossed, on the ramp. She glared pointedly at Mal, almost attempting to murder him with her eyes.

"Who? Me?" Mal innocently asked.

"Yeah, you. You took my bag."

"No. I think you're confusing me with someone else. I don't take people's bags," he replied. The woman stepped forward onto Serenity. Her hair was in a ponytail and she had a nasty bump forming on her temple.

"Alleyway. About five minutes back. You nearly tackled me in your haste escape. You took my gorram bag, idiot!"

"Hey!" Mal barked at the woman. He strode towards her. He was much taller than her and was able to look down on her; she remained firm, staring up at him with blazing eyes. Boy, did she want her bag back.

"This is my ship and I won't stand to have you insult me on it. We'll talk like polite people or we don't talk at all. Got that?"

"Yeah, well I need my bag," she hissed, moving closer to him. " I don't care whose gorram ship it is. I just want my bag back. Can I have it?"

"We don't have any bag," Mal said.

"THE CASE! THE SILVER BREIFCASE! I WANT IT! ITS MINE!"

"Whoa, now, lets calm down for a minute," Mal said with a slight smirk at the edge of his lips.

"You ran into me. I dropped my case; you dropped yours. I picked up yours and you picked up mine," she said in slow words as if talking to a child.

"She's right, sir. This isn't case. Its not as heavy," Zoe said, coming to stand next her captain.

"Where is our bag, then?" Mal asked, folding his arms over chest.

"I tossed it back, someplace. I knew it wasn't mine and your friends were chasing me."

"You tossed our loot?" Jayne shouted angrily suddenly paying attention to the conversation. Mal and his second-in-command remained calm, but inside he was furious. Admittedly the whole mission was easy and maybe not a payday but, still. You don't just toss someone's stolen goods.

"Why'd you toss it?" Mal bitterly asked.

"The men who were chasing you guys decided to go after me. Do you always piss off people who own guns?" she asked, fingering a small hole in her jacket sleeve. No doubt the woman had just barely escaped a bullet wound.

"Not always but, it tends to make the job a little more thrilling," Mal retorted. "Now, why wou-"

"So, you are thieves," she stated, wanting to gain the upper hand of the conversation. She instantly became more calm and collected. Meanwhile, Mal shifted nervously. She could easily report him. Then his boat would be searched and they'd get arrested for harboring fugitives, theft, and tax evasion.

"Well, yeah...But, hey, you took something, too," Mal said, suddenly realizing he had a bargaining chip. Making eye contact with Jayne, the large man put his worn boot on top of the shiny case with a clatter. The woman's eyes narrowed as she stared at her briefcase.

"I ain't a thief."

"Oh. Well that makes sense. So those men who were chasing after you were just doing it for a good time. I know you won't report us, so we're going to do this my way."

"Look, I just want my-"

"Yeah, well I want MY case but, that don't seem to be in the cards right now."

"Dway boo chee? What are you saying?"

"Give me my case and I'll give you yours. You're the one whose making this really complicated. dong le ma?" Mal negotiated.

"Fine, I'll give you your case. Just give me my-"

"Give us our case and we'll give you yours. Zoe, does this seem kind of familiar to you?"

"Yes it does, sir," Zoe said, moving her hand slightly closer to her gun. The other woman just rolled her dark eyes.

"Fine. I think I left it in a junk box. I am Dinah, in case you was wondering," she tersely said, as if knowing her name was some honor she was bestowing on them. Mal played along.

"This is Zoe; the man holding onto your stuff is Jayne and I am Mal Reynolds." she gave a little nod of her head before tramping off the ship.

"Zoe?" Mal asked, as they followed Dinah.

"Captain?"

"Whats a junk box?"

"I think she means trash unit."

"I thought so."

FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**

"Well, that wasn't so hard was it?" Mal asked as Dinah put the briefcase in his hand. Dinah gave a sarcastic smile before quickly returning to her former angry, glaring face. She leaned against the trash unit she had just dug through. Oh what pleasure.

"I guess we'll just return to that ship of yours and get my- Get down!" Dinah yelled. They all jumped to the ground behind the trash unit. Gunshots ricocheted off the wall and the metal container.

"Just give us the case and no one will get hurt," a man said, his low voice assuring the trio that they wouldn't get out of this unscathed.

"Why don't I believe them?" Zoe said, taking out her guns out of the holster on her hip.

"Well, they don't exactly have honest faces," Mal bantered.

"Yeah, kind of ugly."

"Hey, can we chat later? Are these your pursuers or mine?" Dinah asked, rummaging frantically through her satchel. "Damn! The one time I actually need it, I-"

"Look, all we want is that case, Dinah," the leader said, stepping closer to the trash unit. Risking a peek, Dinah looked over the top. He held two different guns, one sleeker and nicer than the other one. It was an alliance pistol. There were maybe 4 men behind him, similarly armed.

"Seems like they're after you," Mal said, looking at Dinah, making sure she realized this was her fault. "Zoe, ready?"

"Yes, sir." in a split second Zoe stood up and began firing shots at the men. The men duck and hid from her precise aim. Mal fired at the leader's hands. The man yelped in pain and he tossed one of the guns. The gun dropped near Dinah and she quickly picked it up. She followed Mal and Zoe as they retreated, narrowly missing another bullet but, returning the favor with great accuracy.

"We gonna get out of this?" Dinah asked, as they tried to lose the men. It was evening and Dinah should have left this gorram moon by now. The ship she had planned to leave with had already gone, if the empty lot meant anything. Shu ma nyaow. Still she kept running with the two thieves, her body enjoying the exercise. Every now and then the briefcase would accidentally hit a passerby. Accidentally. They came to a stop at the mouth of an alley. Zoe leaned against the dusty wall and reloaded her rifle. It snapped shut with a click. Dinah looked at her.

"Expecting someone?" Dinah asked.

"We'll be fine. We've been much tougher scrapes.And with less weapons, too," Mal answered. Dinah was about to point she wasn't talking to him but, she bit her tongue.

"All set, captain but, they'll be comin' after us. Best we get a move on," Zoe said as they stood on the corner of the market street. They were exposed and vulnerable; not exactly a choice hiding spot. The shoppers were mostly gone and the nightlife had just begun to creep out. Nearby the beat up firefly was parked. It was a transport ship; maybe they could give Dinah a ride. The burly man named Jayne was talking with another guy wearing a ridiculous colorful shirt.

Walking up the ramp, Jayne peered at Dinah, his dirty boot still on her silver case. Her knuckles tightened when she saw this.

"Is that our goods, she got there?"

"Shi. Now, Jayne, give the nice lady hers," the captain said. Jayne kicked the case towards her and the contents rattled in the case. Dinah shuddered. Anger boiled in her stomach. Nothing had better be damaged or she'd give that man hell. She gave Zoe their own case.

"Well, that went-" the colorful shirt began to say.

"Hey, Dinah, is it?" called an unfamiliar voice from the ramp. Turning around, Dinah did not recognize the man standing there. He was more nicely dressed than the ordinary people on this moon but, he still seemed kind of coarse. He didn't look threatening. He didn't seem to have a weapon as far as she could see but, appearances could be deceiving. She slowly turned around, assessing her opponent.

"I don't know you."

"Yeah, well, that don't matter much. You see, I need that back," he said motioning to the silver case in Zoe's hands. Dinah rolled. The people on this moon were really stupid.

"You want this one, hu choo-shang tza-jiao duh tzang-huo," Dinah spat, waving the true case around.

"I see you two have business that I frankly don't care about so if you could just-" Mal began. The man pulled at a laser gun. Mal and his crew slowly put there hands up. Well, not Jayne. Dinah sighed, defeated.

"Mal," colorful shirt guy whispered to the captain. "What's going on and whose the girl?"

"We just had a little mix up with the job. That's all."

"Now just hand it over and that'll be all- Hey! What are you doing?" the man barked as Dinah dug through her satchel.

"You want the key or not, you dumb Hwoon dahn! Or would rather break it open?"

"Fine, take it out. But, don't do anything funny," the gunman said. Dinah gave a nod and continued to search.

"We're seriously ain't with her. If you two could get off my ship, we'd happily be out of your way," Mal said with a smile.

"Oh be quiet, Reynolds. She was probably gonna have you transport it somewhere. You've got a reputation, you know."

"No, we wasn't. We were just gonna-" Mal began.

"Shut up! She makes good on her part and you'll be alright. Can't say the same for her, though," the man muttered. Dinah snorted at that as she rifled through her bag.

"Oh! Here it is! I got it!"

"Finally!" the man said, stepping closer. Wrong move. With great speed, the woman flung a rock straight at the man's head. He staggered backwards before tripping over his feet and falling to the ground. That's when the gun shots rang out. Again.

"Ye soo! Why'd you have to bring work home with you?" Wash shouted, startled by the sounds. He ran up the stairs.

"Get this thing off the gorram ground, Wash!"

"On my way!"

"And you," Mal said at Dinah as she hid behind the wall of the firefly to escape the incoming fire.

"I believe this is your stop," Mal said firmly, standing feet apart and hands on his hips, unconcerned by the gunfire. Dinah rolled her eyes at his posturing. Jayne and Zoe had begun shooting at Dinah's pursuers. however that didn't shoot the others from shooting. a bullet hit near her feet making her jump back.

"I'll pay anything, if you get me off this gorram rock!" Dinah pleaded, clutching her case.

"Anything? How about 10 platinum?" Mal asked, knowing no one would pay that much for a ride on Serenity.

"Deal," Dinah quickly replied.

"Wait. What? Zoe, close up the hatch!" Mal said, surprise written clear across his face. That made Dinah smile.

"Right, sir!" the doors quickly shut as one man struggled to hold onto the slowly rising ramp. Mal quickly shot at his hands.

"Sir, are we takin' on passengers?" Zoe asked, assessing the woman who was now aboard the ship.

"Yes, we are. Kaylee! Come down here and take our passenger to her cabin!" Mal shouted. "Now, how are you going to pay us?"

"With money," Dinah muttered, reaching into her satchel again and withdrawing money this time instead of a rock. Counting out 10 platinum, she handed it to the captain. Normally she wouldn't spend this much on a ride but, she was in a tight situation.

"Now that's better than a rock one gorram day," Jayne said, admiring the money in his captain's hand.

"Could you get me to Artemis?"

"The moon circling Hephaestus? Sure, in two weeks," Mal said calmly.

"Two weeks?" Dinah disbelievingly said. She could get there faster in a short range shuttle. With the appropriate modifications. "Any decent ship could-"

"Is there a problem with that?" Mal dangerously asked, his dark eyes glowering at Dinah daring her to insult his boat. He must have been one of those ship lovers. Just then the low rumble of an engine gave away to the sensation of flying. They were already in the air and no way was Dinah going back to that moon. Hephaestus was far and Dinah honestly could wait two weeks, if the firefly didn't break down before they got there.

"No problem."

"Good. Kaylee!" Mal yelled. a small woman appeared, coming down from the upper level. She wore a worn green jumpsuit with engine grease covering her front.

"We taking on passengers, Cap'n?" she asked, a brilliant smile lighting up her face.

"Just, this one for now. Take her to one of the spare cabins. And what happened to you?" Mal asked, staring at the grease stains covering the girl who was apparently the mechanic.

"Ah, this stuff. Me and serenity got into a little spat. No worries though. She runnin' smooth now," the cheerful mechanic said. She extended her hand and Dinah took it."I'm Kaylee and I take of this here ship's engine."

"I'm Dinah. And I am just a passenger." 'That's all I am now,' Dinah thought as she fingered the alliance pistol in her satchel.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please stick with this story.

"Physical space consist of three linear dimension but, those are a part of a different four dimension continuum that is known as space-time. But, Jayne's watch doesn't measure that kind of time."

Dinah did not know how to respond to that nor the girl who was presently sitting on her bed. She had a vacant glazed expression on her pretty young features. Her mouth hung open in awe, as if she was transfixed by the light fixture.

"Is it?" Dinah asked, unsure what to do about her unexpected guest. She crossed the threshold of her small room and slipped the silver case under her bunk.

"Your name," the girl said. Dinah was unsure whether the girl was simply stating those words or asking her.

"My name is Dinah. I wasn't aware there were any child-"

"That name is in the shepherd's book."

"There's a shepherd too? Dang-ran, these thieves keep strange company."

"Daughter of Jacob and Leah. Dinah is a Hebrew woman," the girl spoke, her voice light and translucent.

"yeah...actually. How'd you know that?" Dinah asked, curious about this smart strange girl.

"She was raped by a Canaanite prince. Her brothers preformed vengeance." The words sounded monotone and solid as if they meant nothing. It was very disturbing.

"Slaughter. Blood. Bone crushed. Justice. Holy book doesn't seem right," the girl concluded, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"And that's the not so nice part. It's a family name; like a verbal heirloom, you know? I am not the original Dinah," Dinah explained, taking off her jacket and satchel and placing them on the single chair that furnished the room.

"River."

"huh, river? Where?" Dinah asked, growing suspicious that this girl was not all there. The girl laughed loudly, startling Dinah.

"No, silly," the girl teased, placing her hand over Dinah's in a friendly gesture. "We're in space. There is no water in space. Just one River."

"And whats this river?"

"Me. I am River."

"Oh! That's your name. Right! You must think I am fong luh," Dinah said, joining River on the bed, with a chuckle. River began to laugh to, her grin widening and her facing becoming more animated. She seemed like such a sweet girl and she made Dinah feel happy. Kind of.

"I am fong luh," River giggled, suddenly succumbing to her own mad mirth. Dinah's own laughter becoming strained as she realized the truth in the statement.

"River! River! Quick! You should be with your brother! There's a stranger on board-" Kaylee said as she ran into the room, flustered and slightly frightened.

"Oh! Hey Dinah!"Kaylee tensely muttered through her teeth. A fake hundred watt smile was plastered on her face. "You're in here with...her. She shouldn't be here...come on Riv-girl," the mechanic said motioning to River. With the grace and aloofness of a dancer, River stood up and delicately walked to Kaylee. Grabbing River's hand, Kaylee slowly began to lead her out of the room.

"She's just another passenger. Not anyone of interest. So don't you worry...or think about her anymore, Dinah," Kaylee spoke, fake joy coloring her voice and making Dinah tingle with suspicion.

"Is there something wrong?" Dinah asked standing up.

"Wrong! On Serenity! No! We're fine! And there is nothin' wrong with River or-or anything else on board that would concern the um- the Alliance!"

"We're fugitives."

"Really?" Dinah asked, amused by River's calm appearance as she spoke the words. At the back of her mind the word serenity nagged at Dinah. Serenity dredged up memories she wanted to keep hidden.

"River! River! Where are you? We have to hide- GAHHH!" a neatly dressed man yelled running into the room. He was rather handsome and Dinah found it odd that he was on such a cheap boat as this. He looked like he belonged on a core planet, being pampered by servants.

"Oh! Tah mah de!" the pretty boy swore.

"Hey, look Doc swore," Jayne randomly said, tramping through the hallway without a passing glance. He also toted a very large gun. What was up with this boat?

"Don't hand her to the Feds. They'll just hurt her again. And-" the unfamilar man began.

"Simon, no, she won't. She's Dinah. Justified. Doesn't judge on perception. Whats inside that matters," River mumbled, taking the man's hand.

"Are you runnin' from alliance?" Dinah asked, hoping they would be honest with her. She hated when people lied to her.

"They're on the run," Zoe said, standing in the doorway behind Simon. "Now you had better not be another government spy because if you were, we'd might have a problem. Probably involving gun-"

"Hey! Back up a moment. I ain't gonna turn them over. I don't want nothin' to do with the Alliance. I am fine with them bein' fugitives. Unless they were mass murderers or terrosists or somethin'. They aren't, are they?" Dinah asked.

"No. We are not." the man, Simon, quickly reassured, looking kind of relieved. He seemed tightly wound.

"Mass murder is defined as the slaughter of four or more people. Three won't do. It just won't," River said again, as if there weren't four people in front of her. She was just drifting along in her own world, unhindered by reality.

"She's never killed anyone. She's just insane. You know, totally fong luh," Simon quickly said., eager to convince Dinah that the girl was insane.

"We talkin' about man slaugtherin'?" Jayne asked, peeking around the door frame.

"Why are you here, Jayne?" Zoe asked turning to the man.

"I just passed by and saw everyone in here so I thought there was gonna be a fight," Jayne eagerly stated, giving a wry smile. Dinah smirked.

"There isn't gonna be a fight in here, Jayne. Why don't you help the shepherd with the meal."

"Fine, Zoe. But, if there's any punchin', I wanna know."

"We should probably leave as well. It was nice to meet-"

"Her name's Dinah," River said.

"Alright. Goodbye then," Simon said leading River out of the room, followed by Kaylee.

"No! I want to know about her hair! It doesn't match up at all!" River cried, sounding like a child. She was quickly soothed by both Kaylee and Simon. Dinah self consciously touched her hair. She had dyed blonde a while back and no doubt her brown roots were starting to show.

"Don't worry about the tams at all. They're pretty harmless," Zoe commented.

"Right. So are you here to interrogate me?"

"Yeah. Something like that."

FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**FIREFLY**

The two woman glowered at each other. Zoe wasn't sure about this passenger. Since when did women travel on the outer rim alone? This girl seemed able to hold her own. She wore sturdy cargo pants that seemed worn and dusty and a pair of surplus combat boots, the kind that had been donated to the public after the war. Her hair was a dyed yellow but, strands of brown peeked through. She was short, and her eyes had a kind of perpetual bitter glare. She was pretty, not glamorous like Inara or sweet like Kaylee, but comely all the same. She stood on her own two feet, arms crossed, ready for action. She was tough and had the build to prove it.

"What's in the case?"

"that's my business, not yours," Dinah replied quickly.

"I'm sorry but, seeing as we are transporting you, I think we have a right to know what you're carrying. You know, for safety purposes."

"Its not dangerous," the woman said. Her mouth tightened even more and Zoe felt this woman was very tightly wound. Usually she could handle tight lipped strangers but not today.

"Look ,we ain't gonna take your things. We have a nasty habit as being marked as criminals. It'd be better for all of us, if there weren't any secrets," Zoe said. After a moment of hesitation, Dinah bent down to pull the case out from under the bed. Laying it on the mattress, she opened the top.

Nestled in velvet, yellowed scrolls rested. Parchment upon parchment, weaving sprawling letters decorated the rare paper. It wasn't like the pages in the Shepherd's book. Those were white and thin. These were sturdy and thick. Then came the smell. Dark musty and sweet. The aroma filled the room and made Zoe dream of cinnamon. The scrolls seemed special. They were incredibly mystifying. Zoe moved her hand close.

"NO!" Dinah shouted loudly startling Zoe. She slammed the case down with bang, quickly locking it shut.

"Just- just don't touch it?" Dinah asked sincerely, a pleading grin touching her lips. "I've gone through so much to get this and I just- you aren't supposed to touch these kind of things." Zoe could respect that. It wasn't a bomb or a beacon so, they shouldn't have any trouble. Stepping back she allowed the passenger to slide it under her bed.

"What about that pistol you took?" Zoe asked, recalling the fight today.

"What?"

"Mal shot the guy's hand. He tossed the gun. You grabbed it. You put in your satchel. Don't play stupid with me."

"Its mine. That Tah mah de stole it from me," Dinah said, pulling said gun from her bag. She looked at the item with familiarity.

"You own an alliance pistol?" Zoe asked, her eyes narrowing. She knew that gun. During the War, many of her comrades had fallen under that kind of short range gun. Hearing the menace in her voice, Dinah looked up, her eyes wide.

"You know, two month's ago we had a government spy in here-" Zoe began.

"No, its not like- its just a souvenir. First gun I ever had and it just sorta stuck with me." Dinah seemed desperate to make amends. she put the weapon away and quickly ran a hand through her hair.

"You fought in the War, didn't you?" Dinah asked Zoe.

"Yes. Alongside Mal actually."

"I figured that much. You both got a kind of fearless pride to ya. Brown coats?"

"Wouldn't fight any other side."

"Yeah." they sat in silence for a while

"What did you do during' the war?"

"Me? Oh I got pregnant. Got married. Had a beautiful little girl. got divorced. You know how it goes," Dinah said with a chuckle. Zoe laughed a little too.

"No actually, I don't."

"You married?"

"Shi. Almost 7 years now. Happy marriage. No end in sight."

"You and Mal huh?" Dinah asked conversationally. Zoe looked at her oddly. Was she suggesting-? That she and Mal-? That was ridiculous.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. You thought me and Mal- HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!"

"What's so funny?" Dinah asked as she watched Zoe burst into fits of hilarious laughter.

"HAHHAHAHAHHA! Nothing it's just- HHAHAHAHAHHAHA!"

"Hey! Stop laughin' at me!" Dinah snapped, a blush beginning to creep up her cheeks. she gave Zoe a dirty look

"Oh, I apologize. I didn't mean any harm. It just HAHHAHAHAH! damn that's a funny thought," Zoe laughed, wiping the tears at the edge of her eyes.

"So, he's not your husband I take it?"

"Oh God no. Wash is my husband. He's the pilot of this ship. You'll meet him at dinner probably," Zoe added. "Speakin' of which, I think the shepherd cooked up some grub tonight. You wanna meet the rest of the crew?"

"What else am I gonna do on this boat?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Had I known we were taking on a passenger, I would have made something better," the shepherd said, placing a plate in front of Dinah.

"It wasn't planned, shepherd. Just happened," Mal said before Dinah could answer. She watched the captain as he ate his food. Where did he get the right to interrupt her? She looked at the plate before her. Squiggly canned vegetable were crammed among meat, parsley sprinkled over it for a little flavor and a touch of elegance. That made her smile.

"This'll do just fine," Dinah said, scoopin' some into her mouth. It was pretty damn good for packaged travel food. "I like the parsley."

That made the shepherd's face light up in a smile. "I'm glad you noticed. A man- or a woman for that matter, can live on packaged food for months as long as he, or she, has spices-"

"Ahh, Shepherd, don't go on about your herbs again," Zoe complained from across the table, her fingers entwined with the colorful-shirt-wearing pilot, Wash. They seemed so different. She was quiet, strong, and gorgeous with her dark eyes. And he...well he wasn't. Goofy, kind of loud, and definitely not much of a fighter. In some strange way maybe they suited each other. Dinah ate more of the food, quietly thinking.

"Do you pray, child?" The Shepherd asked out of the blue.

"What?" Dinah coughed, choking on the vegetables in her throat. A large heavy hand slapped her back and Dinah jerked forward against the table, rattling the silverware. She gulped some water before answering.

"Thanks," she sputtered, as she swallowed. Jayne just grunted as he continued to shovel food into his mouth.

"I didn't mean to insult you," The Shepherd responded, his voice warm and kind.

"Oh no. its not that. I am Jewish." the silence that followed made Dinah itch.

"You're disease-ridden? Why the hell did you board my ship then? I don't need you getting all of my crew sick!" Mal demanded, staring suspiciously at Dinah. She stared back. Jayne moved slightly away from her as if he didn't want to catch her "Jewishness".

"isn't that kind of like bough only less salty?" wash asked.

"No, dear. Its not a food," Zoe said with a slightly smirk on her lips.

"Hey! Judaism isn't a disease. Or a dish. Its a religion. Like Christianity. Same god. Different messiah. Ai ya!" Dinah shouted in frutation. Jayne inched his chair back to its original place.

"Oh," the captain said, a look of puzzlement etched on his face. "well then- just- sorry about- carry on!"

"What's Judaism like?" Kaylee asked from across the table, curiosity lighting up her face.

"Oh, well. It's kind of like- hm- well its- its like Christianity. Jews just don't believe that Jesus was the messiah."

"That's it?"

"Well, yeah. But, there is a whole set dietary laws which can be kind of annoying. Say there isn't any pig or rabbit in this, is there?" Dinah asked, fearfully.

"Oh nope. We don't get a whole lot of meat around here and when we do, its only beef," Kaylee said, a brilliant smile lighting up her face.

"Wait. So that means you can't eat pig? No pork? Bacon? Cooked pig spleen?" Jayne said amazed by Dinah's odd diet. She nodded.

"Jayne! Why would you want to eat that!"Kaylee exclaimed, her nose wrinkled in disgust.

"What? Its food. Taste pretty gorram good if you cook it right," Jayne argued. "A little spleen, with bacon pieces. Fry it up and you'll eat it quicker than you could spit."

"As interesting as your mama's cooking is, I think everyone here to keep their meal down tonight," Zoe said, ending that topic. Everyone chuckled including Dinah, as Jayne's expression turned sour. Dinah hadn't felt this good in awhile. Maybe it was the ship, or the parsley, or the misfit crew but, Dinah felt safe. If only she knew if that was a good thing.

FIREFLY***FIREFLY***FIREFLY***FIREFLY***FIREFLY***FIREFLY***FIREFLY***

"you don't need to help with the dishes," Shepherd Book said as Dinah and Kaylee the brought him the plates.

"Its better than sitting in an empty cabin for the rest of the night,"Dinah said. the Shepherd nodded at her answer. Kaylee chattered on and on about the ship, as they cleaned up.

"...And even after all this ship has been through, she keeps going on. You ever fly in a firefly before, Dinah?" Kaylee asked, giving Shepherd Book the last plate.

"I can't say I have," Dinah replied, pushing the last chair in. They walked out of the kitchen and into the medical area. Outside of it, there were couches and Kaylee plopped down, motioning for near Dinah to join her.

"This boat's a good ride, ain't she? I know, she ain't much on the out side but, her insides just kind of speak to you, at least if you're me. If you're me then theengine speak to you," Kaylee clarified, a bright smile on her face. Dinah gaze a small grin. It was a great boat. Tried and true, if the jumbled parts and pieces showed anything. It was the kind of ship that you chose because it spoke to you.

"I just love Serenity. And all the-"

"Serenity?"

"Its the ship's name." Serenity. The boats name was Serenity.

"That's kind of a silly name for a boat like this. Serenity," was all Dinah could manage to say. Inside her, she was a flurry of emotions. Serenity. The name dredged up bad memories she wished would stay down. She was reminded why she was on the outer most rim planets. Serenity. Dinah wasn't sure she'd ever achieve it.

"The captain named her. It was the name of some- Simon! Hi! I didn't see ya at supper. Shepherd cooked. It was mighty fine," Kaylee caroled to the doctor, as he walked in from the storage area of the ship. River followed behind him, stepping with easy grace. Dinah found the young girl intriguing. She was so distant, vague and put Dinah at ease.

"Oh, I was talking to River. Trying to get some information out of her. I wasn't that hungry. River, are you hungry?" River looked at her brother. There was so much caring and sincerity in Simon's eyes. it almost broke your heart to see own River's blank stare.

"Why do you do that? Pretend we don't exist?" River asked at her brother. The young doctor looked so confused and lost. He was trying to decipher the crazy girl's speech.

"We do exist. Same plane. Same time. Same blood. Its all the same but, you want to make it different. Why?" the doctor gave no answer.

"I take it, she's not hungry," Dinah interpreted. Simon just glanced at the new passenger before herding his little sister into the medical room. Kaylee gave Simon one last bright smile, which he returned with a little grin. The door closed with a hiss.

"You sweet on him?" Dinah asked once the brother and sister were effectively out of earshot.

"Like honey. But, he don't seem so interested in me."

"Oh that's just because he's got his sister. If he didn't have to take so much care of her maybe-"

"He'd probably be on some core planet, saving lives, being fed by servants, beautiful debutantes and companions flockin' to him," Kaylee said sadly, looking at her own unflattering jumpsuit. They were quiet for a little bit.

"He'd definitely cute, though," Dinah said.

"Oof, he's so gorram swai! Sometimes I just wanna kiss him. But, then the captain says somethin' or River acts up or the engines in need of some fixin' and poof!" Kaylee said with a dramatic flourish of her hand.

"Poof?"

"Moment's gone. And there I am, lonely little old Kaylee. All by her self." Kaylee asked sadly.

"Why don't you tell him?" Dinah said honestly. Kaylee gave Dinah a look.

"I would its just, he's so gorram-"

"Kaylee! I'm sorry to interrupt," Simon said, opening the medical room's door. "Could you get some food for River, please? Just a protein bar or something"

"I'll get it. This way, you and Kaylee can...talk," Dinah said, quickly standing up. "So talk to each other." Dinah gave Kaylee a very pointed glance.

Walking into the kitchen, Dinah opened a cabinet hoping to find a protein bar. It was empty. She searched the next but, just found cans, some with the labels ripped off. She continued to search the cabinets for a protein bar.

"You should try the drawers." Dinah quickly turned around to see a beautifully dressed women there. Her dark curly hair was perfectly made and her clothes were elegant; she looked out of place on such a ragtag ship like this. The woman just smiled. Dinah pulled one of the drawers out and sure enough she found a protein bar.

"Xei-xei. I'm Dinah-"

"Oh, so I see you two are getting' acquainted," the captain said, entering the kitchen, effectively interrupting Dinah. Again.

"yes, we were till you so rudely interrupted your new passenger," the woman said with total calm. However there was a kind of teasing in her eyes.

"Dinah, this is our resident whore, Inara Serra. Inara, this is our, passenger Dinah-"

"Meltzer. Dinah Meltzer," she said, extending her hand to Inara. Inara took it graciously.

"And I am a companion, not a whore."

"Details. Details," Mal said.

"Really? And you travel on this ship?" Dinah exclaimed in surprise. "I was under the impression, companions traveled on nicer-"

"Nicer what? Ain't Serenity good enough for a whore?" Mal asked, staring down on Dinah, effectively putting himself in between her and Inara. She twitched at the name Serenity. And the fact that he called Inara a whore. And the fact that he interrupted her.

"Mal, don't torment a passenger, especially one who is paying you to take her somewhere," Inara said, capturing Mal's attention.

"and I am sure you'd know all about that, right? Paying customers?"

"okay, I see you two got a thing here so, I am gonna go," Dinah said, slowly leaving the kitchen.

"Hey, wait! Whatcha got there?" Mal called, spotting the protein bar in her hand. "Didn't ya eat enough at dinner? On this boat, we don't tolerate food stealin-"

"Oh no! It wasn't like that! S-Simon asked me to get River some food so, I came up here to get some," Dinah quickly answered, coloring deeply. She knew that food was precious when you're in space and she didn't want to be seen ignorant.

"Please don't toss me out the are lock," Dinah said in a moment of weakness. Inara laughed at that and even Mal seemed amused.

"W ain't gonna toss you out the air lock. We ain't bad people," Mal said. Now, Dinah felt really stupid. She had been on her own for 3 years and suddenly she was worried about being killed over a protein bar.

"Right, because stealin' and harboring fugitives having nothin' to do with moral standards."

"Oh, you'd be surprised."


	4. Chapter 4

This was a strange ship, full of fugitive doctors, priests, mercenaries and Browncoats. Yep, that was Dinah's cup of tea. When she had first gotten on, she had been convinced they were thieves who appreciated the worth of good money. Then she was served dinner by a priest and discovered the 'thieves' were protecting fugitives from the alliance. Now they were on some wayward moon, Triumph or other, helping some helpless bunch of settlers with a bandit problem. Honorable thieves. She had no idea what to make of that.

Sighing she walked into the kitchen, heading straight for the boiling pot of coffee some had already started. Quickly she poured herself a cup, gulping down the hot liquid. It was bad, really bad. not even coffee. coffee substitute. She grimaced as she stared into the black coffee-sub. Something was wrong with the synthesizer. Too gorram coppery for her taste. However, Wash had told her they'd be on their way off in a short while, once the settlers stopped packing all the food into the cargo bay so, that was good. Now that the caffeine had fully awaken her, Dinah realized she wasn't alone.

"So what did you do to the Alliance?" Dinah asked as she watched the good doctor cautiously chew some protein at the dining table. You could tell that he was from the core planets. Nice clothes, good skin, eats nutrient bars like a pansy. Simon looked up at Dinah, probably deciding whether her question had any merit.

"I didn't do anything to the Alliance," Simon finally said, swallowing the protein. He gave Dinah another odd look.

"Ah. So you are pretending to be a fugitive? And you are now traveling with a caravan of thieves instead of making a million platinum as a brain surgeon?" Dinah teased, hopping up onto the kitchen counter. Only then did Dinah realized that she was drinking coffee out of an empty produce can. She hadn't realized how tired she was.

"Yes, actually. You'd be surprised that life isn't always easy on the core planets," Simon said, his eyes narrowing a little. "You should also know that no one on this boat really cares for the Alliance, so if you're thinking of turning my sister and I over for a reward, you'll find that some people won't take to that-"

"Hey! No need to get all menacing and threatenin' here. I ain't lookin' for a reward. I don't want anything to do with the Alliance." Dinah was surprised by how much those words actually reflected her life. She wanted nothing more than to leave the Alliance behind. Even the word left bitter taste in her mouth and while she teased Simon, Dinah felt her nails dig into her palm. Maybe this was just the boat for her. She slowly poured the coffee-sub down the drain, watching it swirl away. Goodbye, Shu ma nyaow.

"What brought you to this ship, then?"

"Last place any would look for us. It was old and cheap," Simon replied.

"Not for me. And your sister? What's her deal, then? She's not all there, is she?"

"Its not her fault," Simon said, standing up. "the Alliance they- why am I even telling you this?"

"because you we're makin' conversation and I honestly wanna know."

With a tired sigh, Simon sat back down. He rubbed his forehead and Dinah took the chair across from him.

"My sister, she's kind of a genius. I mean, I am smart. Not even smart. I was the best in all my classes. I became a doctor in 5 years. My intelligence is exceptional. River was- is beyond that. She is so intelligent that nothing limits her. My family sent her to an Alliance-based academy for the expectational. But this school didn't think of her best interest-"

"Did they not teach her or somethin'?"

"If only. They- well, in essence they experimented on her. They played with her brain, altered her perception of reality, emotions, and some of her instinctual reactions. She's scarred and traumatized and all because some scientists thought her brain was so perfect, it had to be defiled." his hand was a fist, clenched tightly and his knuckles were white. Simon cared for his sister and was willing to fight for her. It was familial love. Dinah could relate.

"I like her."

"Who?" Simon said absently.

"River. She's just so serene, kind of like a dancer, you know? like she's in the same room as you but, in a whole another world."

"Shi. She loves to dance. It comes to her so easily, like everything else," Simon said, smiling as if he remembered a particularly fond memory. "You caught her on a good day."

"She get kind of crazy sometimes?"

"Not...crazy. She's was tortured by the government. At least from the little I can discern. Some days, the trauma is too much for her and she get kind of-"

"I understand," Dinah said, suddenly seeing the doctor in new light. He wasn't such a light weight as Dinah had originally thought. They sat in silence for a while. Dinah's gaze wandered around the kitchen. It wasn't half bad. Nice little prep area, small accessible stove top, good design.

"So, what do you think of Kaylee?"

"This is Zoe. We need all personell in the cargo bay," Zoe called over the intercom, effectively restricting Simon from answering Dinah's question.

"Does that include me?" Dinah asked Simon.

"You might as well come. I don't think anyone would mind."

Walking into the cargo bay, Dinah immediately noticed a young woman standing next to Zoe. She looked naive and submissive, with her eyes lowered. Every once and a while, she'd glance up at Mal, looking for something. Approval? Her strawberry blonde hair was choppily cut and her clothes weren't that special. But, there was something about her, a kind of feeling.

"Who's the new recruit?" Shepherd book asked.

"Everybody, I want you all to meet Mrs. Reynolds," Zoe said with a grin.

"I didn't know Mal had a wife," Dinah automatically spit out. Every head snapped in her direction. "Just sayin'. I didn't know."

"He doesn't," Inara said.

"You got married?" Kaylee gasped, covering her mouth. Her face was bright with happiness.

"Wow. Well that's- congratulations," Simon said, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"We always hoped you two crazy kids would get together. Who is she?" wash asked.

"She's no one," Mal announced. Then the Mrs. Reynolds began to tear up.

"Cap'n!" Kaylee said accusingly.

"Would you stop that?" Mal harshly asked to the woman. She softly whispered: 'I'm sorry'.

"You brute!"

"Oh come here, sweetie," Kaylee said embracing the girl. "He makes everybody cry. He's a monster."

"I'm not a monster! She's the one who got on the boat and-" the woman let out a loud heart wrenching sob.

"Okay, is this whole thing making some sense I don't understand?" Dinah asked no one in particular.

"the only sense you know won't equate. Different factors. Not the same constants. But pots and pans will work jut fine," River said, suddenly sliding up next to Dinah. She instantly stiffened as the strange girl gazed complacently at the floor. Damn, this girl seemed to come out of the walls. Dinah wasn't very fond of people sneaking up on her.

"Wash! Turn the ship around!"

"Can't."

"Why not?"

"We're already out of orbit. And there's a warrant out for the murder of a prefect's nephew. Seems one of our bandits has family ties. The Alliance touched down as soon as we left. So unless you want to walk right into-"

"Fine! We'll set course for Beaumont," Mal angrily decided, looking a lot like a caged animal, pacing back and forth.

"Hey! Calm down. You should enjoy your honeymoon," Wash said, obviously amused by the whole ordeal. Zoe barely suppressed a chuckle. Dinah resisted the urge to smile. It was funny. From the little she knew of the captain he didn't seem the marrying kind. He must have gotten really drunk last night.

"This isn't happening. And could you stop sobbin' for a little while?" Mal demanded. The girl looked up at him with fearful eyes.

"For God sakes' Mal! Could you be a human being for 30 seconds," Inara demanded.

"I am! Its just-"

"As one married man to another-"

"I am not married! I just- look you seem like a real nice girl its just that, I never married you. Hell, I ain't never seen ya before," Mal said to his bride.

"I believe you did," Shepherd called from the stairs. "Last night." they all turned to look at the sheperd on the stairs with an encyclopedia in his hands.

"Here its says that the woman shall place the wreath upon the head of her intended which did take place and which represents his sovereignty. And he shall drink from her wine and there will be a dance of clasped hands which I do recall. The marriage ritual of the triumph settlers. You two are legally married."

"Mazel tov," Dinah offered the newlyweds.

"whadya call him?" Jayne asked, confused.

"Jewish thing. A blessing on your home. May it never know poverty or scarcity," Dinah said, with a dramatic flourish of her hand. From there she took her leave and headed for the kitchen hoping to make a decent cup of coffee-sub. The whole ordeal was getting a little too silly for Dinah's taste.


	5. Chapter 5

"Tah de ma! Stupid, frustrating, so gorram- ugh!" Inara muttered, storming into the kitchen, her dark hair flowing behind her. Even enraged, the companion had a sort of bizarre natural grace.

"Who? Captain I've-gotta-new-wife?" Inara jumped at the sound of Dinah's voice. Dinah was fiddling with the outdated coffee synthesizer, trying to pry the top open.

"I apologize, I wasn't aware anyone was here. I was just- you see- I was going to- Shi. Its Mal," Inara admitted reluctantly. Dinah's fingers just managed to pry the top up a little.

"I guessed as much. Tsao gao!" Dinah shouted, as the contraption closed on her fingers with a pinch. Dinah turned from the stupid machine to face the woman

"So you aren't for the new Mrs. Reynolds?" Inara asked distastefully, sitting at the table.

"Shi. She's just so-"

"Tchen wa?"

"Inara! Language!" Dinah said, surprised at the companion's swear. "I was gonna say she's got a sort of vibe. Innocent submissive little woman. Its just seems kind of...strange," Dinah said, sliding into the seat across from Inara. Dinah had met companions before; they were almost always uptight bitches who thought sleeping with the elite gave them some kind of class. But, Inara wasn't like that, at least not with Dinah. She was kind of...nice, a down to earth kind of person.

"A vibe? Yes, she does have one, doesn't she?" Inara contemplated, sliding off into her inner thoughts. Dinah drummed her fingers lightly on the table for a few minutes, unsure what to do as she was left in silence

"So, does she have a name?"

"Who?" Inara asked absently.

"Mrs. Reynolds?" Dinah saw Inara wince at that.

"Mal didn't agree to the marriage."

"So, now its not the stupid frustrating captain's fault?"

"yes! No! Its just- he's so stupid! You don't just go off-"

"Dancing and drinking with strange girls?" Dinah stated obviously. Inara glared at her. Dinah threw her hands in her air, in surrender. "Okay. No more interrupting."

"Never mind. I just don't understand how carelessly he could be! Married! And why would she marry him? I just- I just don't understand it," Inara said, suddenly becoming cool and collected again. She folded her hands in her lap, just like a companion. Poised and calm.

"were you having trouble with the coffee?" Inara politely asked.

"oh, you mean the demon coffee machine from hell? Nah, you just need to be a genius to open it. Or evil."

"what?" Inara asked, smiling at dinah's strange answer.

"well, its from hell. So someone evil could open it and I just realize I am making just as much sense as river right now," Dinah admitted.

"its a tricky machine," Inara said looking signfagntly better

"What were we talkin' about?" Dinah asked, confused by the turn of the conversation. From coffeemakers to Mal to his wife who was? "Her name!"

"Is Saffron," the newlywed said standing in the door jam.

"Oh," Dinah said. "Ni hao, Saffron. this is Inara...and i'm...Dinah." normally, Dinah wouldn't have been this well behaved, talking and introducing herself to people but, space traveling had always made her kind of loopy. And something told her that no amount of companion training would keep Inara civil. So Dinah was on her best behaviour.

"What do you want?"

"I was going to make my husband dinner. You won't mind, would you?" Saffron asked. She seemed more lively than before; she was actually making eye contact with people.

"um, sure. It ain't my kitchen. I think the coffee systhesizer's broke though," Dinah said, as Saffron searched the kitchen for food. The settlers had been generous and the cabinets were now full of fresh non-packaged food.

"Excuse me, but, what do you think Mal would enjoy the best?" Saffron whispered.

"uhhhh-" Dinah stuttered looking to Inara for help. She barely knew the man, let alone what he would like. Inara was expressionless. Well not expressionless. Inara looked slightly angry then, she gone in a swirl of silk robes, leaving Dinah with Saffron.

"-Food. I guess he'd like some food," Dinah said acting as if the companion hadn't just made a dramatic exit.

"Is she upset? Is it me?" Saffron meekly asked.

"Who, Inara? Oh she's fine!" Dinah lied. She totally isn't attracted to your husband, Dinah thought. "I think its more of a feminist issue. You know, using girls as a bartering system doesn't exactly appeal to us women."

"Well, I am lucky to have your captain as my husband," Saffron said, meekly as she set about preparing food. She was pulling out turnips, garlic and corn oil from the cabinets.

"So you like him?"

"As a wife should," saffron said, blushingly delicately.

"Huh."

"Are you married?" Saffron asked patiently.

"I was. But, we weren't gonna last. I've been divorced for almost two years now." saffron looked at Dinah, agog.

"you should have at least pushed through it. Marriage isn't trivial. Its work," Saffron softly stated, slicing the turnips into perfect medallions. Dinah gave a strained smile, her knuckles cracking as she clenched her hand. her respect for Saffron was starting to dwindle.

"You don't know anything about me. Or my ex. Or my life."

"I'm just sayin', the lord made marriage a sacrament. Marriage is a relationship-"

"Ain't that the truth?" Dinah said, cooling down a little.

"Its a relationship. The wife pleases the husband, serves him as God commands."

"Whoa! I am jewish! And that's definitely ain't in my book. And no woman is order by no god to serve no gorram man!" Dinah began before stopping herself. She could feel the anger rising up in her. Saffron was looking at her, eyes wide and naive. Pathetic, really.

"Look, Saffron, first off: forced marriage is never good. Second: if you're gonna be a wife, especially mal's wife, you're going to need a backbone. Third: don't be extra critical on strangers if you wanna survive. Fourth: if you're gonna make turnips, you never cook them in corn oil. That's like the stupidest thing in the 'verse. You wanna make them soft not fried. Boil them," Dinah hissed before leaving in a huff. Cooking turnips in oil, what a gorram idiot.

FIREFLY***FIREFLY***FIRELFY***FIRELFY***FIREFLY***FIREFLY***FIRELFY***

"Ain't she sweet?" Kaylee asked as gears clinked as the mechanic fiddled with them. Dinah was surprised the rusty machine even worked, and was even more surprised at how well it ran.

"She doesn't know anything about turnips, thinks ill of her entire gender, and follows the 'will of god'. Stupid christian supremacy moon that raised her," Dinah muttered, peering under the engine Kaylee had managed to manuever under.

"Which ya going on about? Wou de ma! We gonna need a new compressor soon," Kaylee said, sitting up with a 100 watt smile on her face.

"How do you do that?" Dinah asked.

"What?"

"Be so annoyingly optimistic."

"Well, I just sorta am," Kaylee replied. Dinah smiled.

"It ain't really annoyin', is it? cause i can be sad."

"nah, its kind of endearing. Oh, Kaylee, you got a little-" Dinah said motioning to a splotch of grease on kaylee's cheek. She quickly rubbed at it but, it stayed there.

"Gone?" Kaylee asked as she rubbed her sleeve against her cheek.

"not really."

"Now?"

"Yeah...that's not going away anytime soon," Dinah admitted as the grease stain actually grew.

"Aw, it'll be fine. No one really complains about me bein' greasy. I probably should go get clean, though," Kaylee said heading toward the bathroom with a final smile. Dinah laughed a little. She liked Kaylee. And Inara. And Simon and River. And when Jayne wasn't especially crude. Hell, she liked everyone on the boat. Course there was Saffron but, Dinah could deal with her. It was strange how at ease Dinah felt around the crew. She had been traveling solo for two years now, jumping from core planet to outer rim moons, trying to find some sort of order in her life. with a sense of satisfaction, she walked towards the infirmary.

"You have to marry me. I'm in the family way. Make an honest woman out of me. Simon!" River's voice dragged Dinah out of her thoughts. Nearing the infirmary, Dinah saw River with a pillow tucked under her shirt. Simon was pleading with her while Shepherd stood off to the side, seeming both troubled and amused.

"No, mei-mei. We can't get married; we're related and it wouldn't be appropriate. River, just-"

"You don't love me. You don't think I am good enough. I see," River said sadly, holding her 'pregnant' belly.

"No! Its just- I love you, River. I just don't, can't and won't marry you."

"But, Simon! We're on the boat and they're all pairing up! Its two by two!"

"River, you can't marry your brother. Its incest and it is greatly frowned upon by most societies," Shepherd said slowly.

"What's going on?" Dinah asked, very befuddled. She heard somethings but, it didn't make sense.

"I need something blue!" River said bouncing up to Dinah, joy clearly expressed on her face.

"We're trying to- its complicated- I wouldn't-," Simon spewed.

"River wishes to get married," Sheperd explained.

"Shi," Simon said.

"to you?" Dinah asked, looking at the young doctor.

"Yes," Simon admitted, being to blush.

"Oh, bao bei, you can't marry your brother," Dinah said to River.

"You can't stop our love," she said very calmly looking up at her brother with adoration.

"Okay... I'm not questioning that. You and your brother love each other a lot. I can see that but, just because you love someone doesn't mean you should marry them. There are certain kinds of love."

"But, the captain was married and he's got a wife. now they are together; they look after each other.."

"Look, River, you and your brother have a familial love, not a romantic or sexual love. Hopefully. Marriage is always between unrelated people because then you get-"

"Inbreeding. The branches cross over and family tree won't grow much farther. It'll die out," River said, comprehension dawning in her eyes.

"Yes! Exactly! Inbreeding! and we don't want that to happen. do you kind of understand what i am trying to say?" Dinah asked, hoping she didn't muck the situation any further. although that would be kind of hard to do.

"Didn't I make those points earlier?" Simon asked Shepherd.

"I have a pillow under my shirt," River said tugging the cushion out. "I'm sorry but, I must reject your offer. i hope we can still be friends," River very sincerely stated handing the pillow to Simon. Her confused brother stood there, mouth hanging open in wonder.

"Well done," the shepherd commended.

" Xei-xei. She's got the mind of a child," Dinah said as Simon went into the infirmary. the sheperd nodded wisely, i agreement.

"How do you like Saffron?" Shepherd asked.

"Don't get me started on her. We ain't exactly on the best terms."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. I can't really say I adore a woman who can't stand up for herself."

"you mustn't blame her. She's lived a very sheltered life."

"I know. Its just- does she have a vibe? Do you get a vibe off her?" Dinah asked.

"A vibe? What do you mean?" the sheperd asked.

"Aww. Nevermind. Its probably nothing. I might have been kind of mean to her earlier though. I geuss she doesn't mean any harm."

"Maybe you should apologize to her. Forgiveness is one of the most powerful weapons in the 'verse."

"You preaching to a Jewish girl, Shepherd?" Dinah asked teasingly. "And i thought the greatest weapon was faith."

"Of course. right next to knowlegde and mercy," the Shepperd joked.

"And Vera! i'll tell you! worth twenty give-away wives. can't believe i even offered- that gorram ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng!" Jayne grumbled stomping through, toting a very large gun. Dinah tried to suppress a grin. when jayne wasn't crude or offensive, he could be pretty gorram comical.

"Say, Shepherd, have you ever had turnips cooked in oil?"

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Mrs. Reynolds "Saffron" POV

Mrs. Reynolds had one chance. There was one empty shuttle and if she didn't want to be electrocuted, she had to get off soon. It was about time the captain had tried to take advantage of her. She had begun to fear that he might have been sly. She heard footsteps climbing along the metal walkway. Go se. it was Dinah. But, Mrs. Reynolds didn't have any qualms about taking her out.

"Hey, Saffron. I just wanna apolo-" she didn't finish that sentence. Mrs. Reynolds swung a punch at her but Dinah quickly ducked. She went to hit her again but, the stupid bitch grabbed her hands. Quickly, Mrs. Reynolds headbutted her opponent. Dinah stumbled back in confusion. Mrs. Reynolds grabbed Dinah's head and smashed it into the railing. Dinah was out and Mrs. Reynolds would soon be gone.

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Dinah POV

"Ow! What happened? Ow! Why does my head hurt?" Dinah demanded as Simon peered over her, touching her forehead gently. It still hurt. She slapped his hand away. "I said 'ow', doc! Ain't ya supposed to make it better?"

"She seems alright. Dinah, Saffron knocked you out," Simon diagnosed. "You just got a bump on her head." he touched it again.

"Buyao darao wo! Stop touching it!" Dinah said, standing up. "I'm gonna get a cold pack."

"That's a good idea," Simon said getting up to let her pass by.

Dinah grumbled as she went into the kitchen. Finding the fridg,e she pulled a bag of frozen fruit out. It wasn't vegetables; it was fruit, whole pieces of apples, oranges and berries. Bizarre woman-giving settlers. Hearing some commotion, Dinah headed back to the cock pit. everyone was corwed in the small space, mumbling about the ship. Leaning over someone's shoulder, she saw a mass of elecro-magnetic energy on the radar. That was the kind of thing you didn't want to see on a screen in space.

"Please tell me that ain't a net," Dinah begged, trying to stop her throbbing skull.

"I don't get it," Jayne stated. Dinah resisted the urge to hit him in the back of the head. No, they had bigger problems then that.


	6. Chapter 6

Dinah really didn't want to electrocuted to death on a firefly with the motliest crew this side of the 'verse. This boat was a death trap but, that wasn't meant to be literal! And the net on the radar glowed brighter, making Dinah' stomach twist. She didn't want to die. She had a whole mess of problems she hadn't fixed yet. And not mention, Dinah hadn't seen her mum or her brother in a long gorram time. She hadn't seen Artemis, the jungle moon she had grown up on. And the scrolls! They shouldn't perish, not here, not now. And latkes! Gorram, she really wanted fried potato goodness right now! And River didn't deserve to die. Or Kaylee. or Shepherd Book and..and...and...Jayne was too gorram stupid to die!

"I don't get it," the mercenary stated, dumbly (see!) staring at the radar.

"It means we're float towards our luh-suh deaths!" Dinah snapped, gazing absently out into space, knowing someone out there, namely Mal's wife, had signed their death warrant.

"It's a Carrion House. Scrap shop, takes ships, pulls them apart or fixes them up," the Shepherd said knowledgeably.

"Doesn't that sound frightening?" Wash added sracstically.

"The picture we're looking at is a net. A ship gets caught in that like a fly in a web. Can't move; you're trapped. Usually they get repaired but, that only happens if its evacuated. Sometimes the less savory portion of the 'verse will use it as a scrap shop," Mal said arms crossed tightly across his chest.

"What happened if it ain't evacuated?" kaylee asked.

"The ship becomes one big o' electric conduit burns up everything inside. Ship's intact and there ain't people."

"some new models disable the airlocks. They cut off the O2 or they'll just gas ya. They don't want survivors," Shepherd said.

"Someday, you're gonna tell us how ya know so much about crime," Jayne replied.

"Kaylee?" Mal asked, looking for a status report. She was still working with the wires.

"I'm trying Cap't but, its just not.."

"Well, keep at it. We ain't falling into that net. We can't," Mal told her. He looked around the cockpit eying each person on board his beloved firefly. "We need a plan B."

"I like that idea," Dinah muttered.

"Jayne, get Vera."

Dinah watched the captain dish out orders, feeling unbearably useless. What in the gorram hell was she supposed to do? Sit and wait for the problem to be solve? Apparently so. Letting the professionals do their job, she climbed out of the small room, her heavy bots clattering on the grate. She walked down to the kitchen, feeling a little depressed. Dinah used to be a professional.

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"May I ask what you are doing?" a voice asked startling Dinah.

"Da shing la se la ch'won tian! What are you doin' sneakin' up on people like that, especially when they're floatin' to the electric net of death!" Dinah asked brushing some blonde hair out of her face.

"I apologize. I was curious," Sheperd said calmly, hands held behind his back, the very image of peace. Unlike Dinah.

"Don't worry. I'm just- I'm kind of on edge, you know?" Dinah said, giving Sheperd a slight crazed smile. "I'm just getting' rid of the fried turnips. Its an abomination. It soils the whole bunch. I figure I might as well get rid of it. And how come you are so calm?" she chattered as she scraped the leftover turnips into the garbage compressor.

"I believe that the captain has this in hand."

"You have faith in him, preacher?" The shepherd chuckled.

"Yes, I suppose I do. What about you?"

"um, I'm fine. A little anxious. I just- I got something I need to do. And I don't fancy dying before its done," Dinah said pulling out some potatoes and a knife. "Cooking is kind of relaxing for me so, I hope it'll take the edge off my nerves."

"I do enjoy cooking. At the Abbey, we cared for a garden and we always had fresh herbs."

"Is it hard being away? Do ya miss it at all?" Dinah asked slicing up the potatoes into minute slivers. She put the potato slivers in a bowl and mixed them with eggs and salt.

"In some ways, yes. I do regret the peace and the quiet but, it was time to move on-"

"And start preaching to pirates and thieves and fugitives?"

"Everyone asks me that. Despite what they do and what they label themselves as, they're good people."

"The times we live in, you can't be sure whose good and who ain't. The lines are blurry. Say, you got a wok? Or a frying pan?"

"Oh, yes. This ship isn't totally without. We do have a few necessities," Shepherd said, entering the kitchen and miraculously pulled a pan from a cupboard.

"There you are."

"Xei-xei." Dinah took the pan and put it on the stove. She looked at the old machine, trying to discern the old fashioned system. Pressing a few old buttons, Dinah was pretty sure the thing was heating up. She put a dollop of oil onto the pan and placed it on the stovetop.

"Have you done a lot of cooking?" The Shepherd asked as Dinah waited for the oil to sizzle.

"Since I was 6. my family- well you know Artemis?"

"Isn't that a resort planet?"

"yup, rich core people come there and they have themselves a little jungle vacation. That was what it was terraformed for. Anyway, if you live on Artemis, you're either really really rich or really really poor."

"Is that where your accent from?" he asked.

"Yeah. Working for the elite we kind of picked up their posh ways of talkin'. Course it ain't a refined as theirs. People always tell me I don't say my h's and well, you hear the way I talk. Course you all sound like freaks to me. Anyway, the people who live there tend to be the maids or the cooks or the domestic servers. I kind grew up around cooking. Its just how it is on Artemis."

"I've heard of that. So you were a slave?" Shepherd hesitantly asked, trying to understand her situation. Dinah shook her head in amusement.

"Nah. We weren't slaves. Everyone thinks that; I don't know why. It was just- it was what we were brought up to do. I mean, you could get off the planet anytime you'd like. We got freedom and rights and all that but, most people never leave." The pan was beginning to pop and spit. She put the potato mixture in little clumps and waited for it to fry.

"Except you."

"Except me. Yep."

"Are you running from something, Dinah?" the shepherd asked suddenly, looking at her wisely. She stared back. The latkes were almost done now; she could smell them browning. She smiled, pulling some latkes off the pan and piling them onto a plate.

"I ain't got nothing to run from."

"Something burning," Jayne called, his loud boots announcing his presence.

"Something's cooking, Jayne," Zoe corrected.

"Then, we've been doing it wrong all these years. Smells pretty Gorram good!" Jayne announced, hungrily staring at the plate in Dinah's hands. The smell of cook potatoes filled the room. Dinah looked from Jayne to Zoe to Shepherd. Jayne looked as if he was going to tackle her for the food. Shepherd gave her a sympathetic look, as if to say she might a well. She sighed.

"Knock yourself out." the plate clattered to the table and it was quickly snatched away by the hungry mercenary.

"I take it we aren't drifting toward the net, then?" the Shepherd asked as Dinah made some more latkes.

"Nope. I took care of it. Me and Vera shot it down and this here boat went right through it." Dinah let out the breath she seemed to be holding forever. They weren't endanger. Not anymore. "Hey! Can the savior get some more?"

"She's got a name, Jayne," Zoe said.

"I know! what she called again?"

"Its Dinah and if you want to eat my food, you should you learn it. And will it hurt ya to share with the others? You eat more than my brother," Dinah retorted slapping another platter of latkes down along with two plates for Zoe and Shepherd. "How they suit ya?"

"I like them," Zoe simply said as they ate the food.

"Very good, Dinah."

"Hey! Since when was there warm fried goodness and why wasn't I invited?" Wash asked stepping into the room taking a seat next to his wife.

"I think you've had enough good food today," Zoe said to her husband.

"Does that mean I don't get any?" Wash asked, discouraged.

"Hmmmm. Maybe." Zoe teased sliding her plate over. The pilot smiled and his wife smiled back. He ate the latkes.

"sweet wou de ma! That's good, Whatever it is! What am I eating again?"

"uhh..."

"Latkes."

"who?" Jayne asked, looking up from the his now clean plate. He looked at Dinah and gave her a pathetic pitiful grin. She glared at him as she put another on his plate.

"Latkes. Potato pancakes. It a Jewish thing," Dinah said as her food began to disappear. Maybe she should cook some more.

"Wash! I thought you were flying us outta here!" the captain said looking into the kitchen to find most of her crew eating. He looked much less tense, but slightly pissed off.

"The coordinates are in, Mal, and we're locked on her, well, the shuttle's location. We'll be there in maybec30 minutes. Saffron did cut the main auxiliary drive line. We can't go that fast."

"What's this then?"

"Its Latkes, Mal. A Jewish thing. Don't ya know anything?" Jayne said, sounding exasperated.

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there was something truly satisfying about cooking and having people eat it. Dinah had always loved cooking and it had been too long since she had been in a kitchen. And the she liked the kitchen on Serenity; sure the cooking top was old and practically everything else was outdated but, Dinah could still whip up a good meal. It was a sweet set up with the yellow walls and the little vines decorating them.

And the dinner table. When you sat at it, it didn't feel like you were a social outcasts on the edge of the 'verse. They were a family. Eating, laughing, telling stories, being nice. And Dinah liked that. She wanted that. She looked at the now empty table. Everything was pretty quiet. The engine was humming softly and Dinah was pretty sure that random loud startling noise was Jayne snoring. She looked at the three small leftover latkes, lonely and sad, too small for anyone not even Jayne to eat. Dinah ate one and it was only then that she realized she hadn't had any dinner. It was wonderful, just like her mama used to make. Still warm, crunchy on the outside, soft and starchy on the inside; the food you lived for. She remembered making these for Hanukah and well, on any special occasion. She remembered her daughter, smiling, as she chewed the latkes. She loved them so much. And Dinah loved her.

"Shouldn't you be in bed ?"

"Wou de ma! Don't you make some kind of noise? What do you mean I should be in bed?" Dinah asked, finding the captain standing in the door jam looking tired, if not a little smug at making her jump.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you none. Just finished some business on the moon."

"With Saffron?"

"Yeah. If that's her real name. Which I doubt it is. I hear, you made some food, earlier and I was wonder-"

Dinah looked at the sad little latkes. She couldn't turn him down.

"Ain't got much left but, here you go. If you want one," Dinah said offering the captain the last.

"Xei-xei," the captain said taking a seat. He quickly devoured them. "I ain't ever had anything like this. Its good."

"You should have had them when they were hot," Dinah said, suppressing a yawn. It was late. It was kind of a hectic day, what with the crazed wife and all.

"You know, we don't usually get a lot of cooked food up here; mostly stick to protein bars and nutrients supplications. Occasionally Book'll cook something good. Or Kaylee. Thought, she's better with engines then a stove top. It was mighty nice of you to cook for the crew."

"Don't worry about it. I enjoy cookin'. It was nice to do something relaxing. Besides, I was feeling kind of useless on the boat. I needed to do something."

"Dinah, was it?"

"Shi."

"Do you travel with thieves and run-aways and the like often?" the captain asked, looking at Dinah as she stood against the counter.

"yes, capta- can I call you Mal?"

"Yeah. Though I don't mind captain."

"Why exactly are you asking me all this?"

"Cause you made pretty Gorram good food. Just wondering really."

"Yeah. I'm okay with your crew. I met some pretty nasty people in my life and none of them are on your ship."

"You met Jayne yet?" Mal asked teasingly. Dinah grinned.

"I have. Scarfed down most of the latkes actually. He's kind of crude and mean and rude but- Nevermind. I don't what I'm talking about," Dinah tried to say. In the 'verse, you don't judge people quickly; its a naive and foolish to trust people too quickly. But, Dinah was tired of being wary and careful.

"I just kind of trust you're crew. And your boat. Don't know why. I just do."

"You wanna job?"

"Huh?"

"A job. We ain't exactly in the safest line of work but, you'd just be a cook. The pay ain't much either but, we do a bit of travelin' if you like that. And you are one terrible thief," Mal said.

"Hey! That was a one time thing! I don't usually do that kind of thing. You serious bout the job?"

"Shi. Now I ain't in the habit of just giving jobs to just about anyone but, I've been meaning to hire a cook since, well, ever since I first stepped onto this boat. I'd think you'd fit on Serenity. Do you want to be her cook?" Mal asked. She looked at the man who had just handed everything she wanted to her. She took a deep breath. Should she stay on this ship? Join the crew? Become attached again?

"Sure. I'll be Serenity's cook."

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave Kudos/Comments. they make my days ten times better and make it easier to write. Just bear with me people. She ain't a mary sue.


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